Failure

We try so hard to do what is right, I try so hard to do what I should. Instead however I give in to my fleshly desires and often cause others to stumble with me. I am a failure. There is no way around it, no excuse I can make, no way I can reason my way to accepting it. All my attempts to do right end in failure and it seems that I am destined for failure for the rest of my life. Now let me be clear I do not mean failure in the sense that the world would describe. In fact by their standards I am a privileged individual with everything going for me who has managed to achieve a decent amount of success in his 20-21 short years here. But all of their measures fall short of God who is the final Judge. I recall a passage from Romans that illustrates best this feeling


Romans ch7:15-16 "15I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. 16And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good.

I do not understand what I do. Truly I have no idea why I am the way I am. I know that sin has no power over me, and that I have the power to rebuke and throw Satan from my presence. But I don't. I just do not do it instead I allow my self to sin and I have no idea why I know the consequences of my sin and I am beginning to understand what I am doing to the heart of God when I sin, but none of that stops me, not my love for God, nor my fear of eternal death.

Paul did offer some hope though. In the following verses 17-20 he tells me that it is not in fact me who is doing the sinning.

Romans 5: 17-20 "17As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. 18I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature.[c] For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. 19For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. 20Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it."

Well that is a relief I have given my heart to God and continue to do so on a regular basis every day, and when I fail it is not me doing it but the sin living inside me. He continues to say that there is in fact a war going on inside between our inner being and our sinful nature. And we have the advantage in that war, we have Jesus Christ on our side though whom we have dies to sin and come alive with Christ so that we might resist that sinful nature.


OK I have to stop for a minute and be honest I began this as a post about my failure but as I have been writing it God has called to my mind these scriptures and has spoken to me as I write to you I entered this in a place of despair over my failures as a warrior for God unable to do what is right in the sight of God, now however God has led me to a place where I have more understanding about what is going on inside of me. God often does that he allows you to fall to a place of despair so that you are willing to be picked up by him and then he will give you what you need to carry on.

I think that many Christians come to a place where they just cant seem to do anything right. perhaps it is a multitude of things or maybe it is one thing you just cant seem to conquer. Obviously at least some of the Christians in Corinth were there when Paul wrote this letter. And most likely we will all get there at some point in our lives if not at many points. God through the writings of Paul has offered me comfort tonight and I pray that when you reach that point or if you are at that point that you allow God to some into that place and, whether it be through scripture, memory or a kind friend, that you are healed in that place and can move on to new heights in your life and a more consistent walk with God